Delirious
by carved in the sand
Summary: Matsumoto finds her captain to be a lovestruck teenage boy - hitsukarin


"How is he, Unohana-taicho?"

"Seven broken ribs, punctured lung and stomach, a broken leg - or maybe shattered would be more accurate? - internal bleeding, a dislocated shoulder, hypothermia, and a ruptured spleen. He's very lucky to be breathing."

Matsumoto nodded at the older woman, looking over her superior's frame for any hairs out of place (not to say that his hair wasn't already a mess). A beat of silence followed, the only sound coming from the heart monitor. "Thank you," the strawberry blonde, all professionalism dropped in favor of reverence. "I was sure he'd be dead. You can't understand how grateful I am."

"Give him more credit, Matsumoto-fukutaicho," Unohana said in a lighter, teasing tone. "Your captain is much more tenacious than you think."

"If by tenacious, do you mean idiotic? Tenacious sounds too close to a compliment for my tastes."

Unohana's light, trilling laugh, like wind chimes, filled the room. She placed a hand on Rangiku's stiff shoulder. "Well, he'll be waking up soon, but we've put him on a heavy dose of pain killers, so he might be a bit disorientated for a while. Stay as long as you please."

"Thank you, Unohana-taicho."

"It's my job, dear. No need for thanks."

Matsumoto listened to her barely-audible footsteps as she walked away, taking in a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. It wasn't that she was particularly uncomfortable around the fourth division's captain, but moreso…..incredibly intimidated.

She sat there for an immeasurable amount of time, watching the quiet rise and fall of Hitsugaya's chest, eyes narrowed into near slits. The fool. The damned fool. It was a godsend that his bloody training regime hadn't ended up giving him permanent trauma. When he was all right and well, she'd chain him to his desk for the rest of his _natural life._

It was strange how she felt like a mother loosing her child when they'd brought him here. Who knew he had so much _blood_? It didn't seem possible - not that he was very small anymore. The white-haired captain had transformed over the years, and now he looked closer to sixteen than six.

Matsumoto heaved another sigh, brushing away another lock of her hair.

She didn't need all this stress.

Over the next few minutes, the heart monitor speed up, and before she could call for a doctor to ask what was wrong, his eyes fluttered open.

The bright, brilliant turquiose locked onto Matsumoto's, then around the room, eyes shutting closed again. It was his turn to sigh, but the gas mask deterred any heavy breathing.

"Are you fully awake?" she asked introspectively.

"Possibly. Am I dead?" His voice was raspy and choked.

"Almost was. But that won't mean I'm not considering the job."

"I don't remember you being so violent, Rangiku."

Matsumoto nearly jumped from her seat. Did he just address her by her first name?

"Taicho?" Matumoto asks tentatively. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," he answers unsteadily. His eyes open again. "Everything aches like hell. Is this what arthritis is like? And I think I have to pee. Gods, what the hell happened to me?"

A slow, wiry smile pulled at the fukutaicho's lips. "Taicho, I think you're high."

"Not necessarily. I mean, I think it depends on perspective. I believe I am very close to the ground….the bed's pretty low. Not that I can really _see_ it." He pauses for a moment, then begins to wiggle his face awkwardly, presumably trying to slip the oxygen mask from his face.

"Oh my goodness," Matsumoto whispers, watching him struggle childishly. Childishly. He's acting so young. She's suddenly extremely excited. "Taicho, can I call you Toshiro?"

"It's my name, isn't it? Oh gods, what if it's not my name anymore? What if I have a new name? No, wait. You wouldn't be asking, would you? Or is this just some sick alternate dimension-"

"Toshiro-chan!" Matusmoto giggles out. "You're so cute when you're confused like this. It reminds me of a toddler. Except I think you're funnier."

"Why thank you, Rangiku," Toshiro says gravely, finally wiggling out of the mask. It laid on his shoulder precariously. "I'm free! That's much better. I still have arthritis everywhere, though."

Matsumoto giggles again. "So, taicho," she drawls, "why did you feel the need to try and commit suicide by excessive training? And did you know you got hypothermia? I didn't think that was really possible. I always thought you were cold-blooded."

Toshiro laughs too, snickering like the teenage boy he is, then winces. "You're funny. I don't think you were every this funny, Rangiku. I like that. But no, I wasn't trying to kill myself. I can't protect her if I'm dead, can I?"

The woman stills in her mirth, her heart seeming to pause with her. "What do you mean, Toshiro-chan?"

"Karin! Karin-chan, of course. If I'm dead, then no one's going to protect her. Save her. She needs saving sometimes. Or a lot. It's just that sometimes it isn't because she's about to be eaten by bloodthirsty hollows or hormone-crazed teenage boys," Toshiro muses, sighing a little. "Well, that's okay. I'll just be there to save her anyway. That's why I need to be stronger. Much stronger."

"You care a lot about her, don't you?" Matsumoto asks softly.

"I care about her more than Hyorinmaru. But don't tell him that. He'll get _real_ jealous. But he's not as pretty as Karin-chan! He's ugly, honest!"

"How pretty is Karin-chan?"

"Prettier than all the girls in the Seiterei. And she smells nice. Like soap. And skin. But really nice smelling soap and skin. I like smelling her hair when she's not looking. But don't tell her that either."

His vice captain burst into furious giggles, tears springing to her eyes, trying to her eyes. "Oh, Toshiro-chan! You're so adorable! Do you really? And is this why you've been in the human world so much lately?"

"Of course! What else would I be doing! Sometimes I wish I could stay there for good, but then I have people like you to worry about."

"And what does that mean?"

"How could you go on without me? Besides, the division would burn to the ground! And then you'd stand on it's burning ashes and cackle!" Toshiro nearly shouts, true fear coming into his eyes. "I couldn't leave you! And I can't leave Karin either! She's probably trip and fall into a hollow's mouth. I wouldn't smell her hair ever again. So I'm stuck."

"Do you love her?"

"Pfft," Toshiro scoffs, almost sounding like normal. "That's like asking me if I think my fukutaicho is lazy. But don't tell her that."

"I….won't?" said fukutaicho answered, unsure of his meaning. He didn't think that she was a different person, did he? How much drugs did they give him?

"Good. You're a good friend, Rangiku. Too bad you're really ugly. But I accept you as you are."

Matsumoto swallows back an insult and stills her hands, reminding herself that he was obviously out of his right mind. And his eyes were blurry. Very blurry. "And how am I ugly?"

"Every girl is ugly compared to Karin, _obviously_."

"That's almost cute."

"Not as cute as Karin."

Rangiku giggled again, sighing lightly. "I never knew you were such a lovesick teenage boy, Toshiro. Karin's got you wrapped around her little finger, doesn't she?"

"I'm not answering that," Toshiro pouts, almost looking like a twelve-year-old. I'd do anything for her, though. I enrolled in a human highschool for a while, which was _disgusting_, but she didn't know it was for her. I had to protect her _somehow_. But now I know she's safe. I just miss her a lot. Training helps. I can get stronger so I can still protect her."

Matsumoto blithely pats her captain's shoulder, not noticing his heavy wince. "Oh, Toshiro-chan, I'll just remember all of this for future reference, just in case you ever want to tell me that you're in love with Kurosaki Karin."

"I"m in love with Kurosaki Karin," Toshiro answers, one of his silvery brows shooting up. "Haven't we already established this? Wait, are we still in the same dimension?"

"Dear, you're so delirious it's not even funny anymore," Matsumoto murmurs.

* * *

_**A/N:** I was incredibly bored, and sometimes HitsuKarin smacks me in the face with really good ideas and general cuteness. But really. We all know I wrote this for high!Hitsugaya. Remember to review!_


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